First responders step into other people’s worst moments every day.
Major car crashes, domestic violence and serious illness are often part of the job, and the mental toll can last long after the shift has ended.
For some, it is a single confronting incident. For others, the impact builds over time. Sometimes a case can hit particularly close to home because of a patient’s age, circumstances or similarity to someone they love.
St John NT Chaplain Darryl Shaw knows firsthand the toll of witnessing some of the community’s most difficult moments on the frontline.
Darryl spent eight years working as a frontline paramedic before a traumatic case in 2003 became a defining point in his career.
The case was later examined through a formal inquiry, with the process taking almost two years.
“In those days there was no chaplain or peer support program,” Darryl said.
“My Regional Manager at the time was a great support and constantly reassured me.
“The experience itself just about broke me, but his support helped me keep going.”
Today, Darryl supports St John NT paramedics, Triple Zero communications staff, volunteers and others across the organisation who may be carrying the impact of difficult work.
“I’ve experienced it myself, and now I do what I can to share the load to help others get through it,” he said.
“Wellbeing support has evolved significantly since I was on the frontline. There is much greater awareness of the impact this work can have, but that doesn’t necessarily make the conversations easier.
“Sometimes people find it hard enough to admit to themselves that they’re struggling, let alone say it out loud to someone else.”
Darryl said the way a conversation starts can make a difference.
“Sometimes ‘are you okay?’ is too easy to answer with ‘yes’ and move on.
“Try opening the door a little wider. ‘That was a tough one, how are you going after it?’ or ‘You haven’t seemed yourself lately, what’s been happening?’
“An open question gives someone more room to answer honestly. You don’t need to have the perfect response. Listen, give them time and help them connect with support if they need it.”
The same principle applies outside emergency services.
“You don’t have to be a first responder to carry something difficult. Life is full of difficult challenges for everybody,” Darryl said.
“If you’ve noticed something has changed in someone, say what you’ve noticed and ask a genuine question. It might be ‘you’ve had a lot going on lately, how are you coping?’ or simply ‘how are things really going?’
“The important part is being prepared to listen to the answer. I have a quote by Thich Nat Hanh on the whiteboard in my office: ‘You listen with only one purpose – to help that person to empty their heart’.”
Darryl said sharing his own experience was one way of making those conversations easier.
“I share my story to show people they can have these conversations, and they should.”
“Your colleagues, family and friends, and the professional support available through your workplace can be invaluable.
This R U OK? Day, St John NT is encouraging its people and the broader community to check in with themselves and those around them.
A simple conversation can remind someone they do not have to carry a difficult experience alone.
FREE R U OK? resources are available at: www.ruok.org.au
